Please do not turn your back on salvation when once you become aware of it and what it brings you. You will not find happiness here, you will not. You may continue to seek it where it is not, but you will find only frustration and disappointment. All things of this world will pass away, all accomplishments and honors will become as ashes, leaving only their bitter taste in the end.
Your understanding is always based on the thought system to which you adhere. You never learn on your own just as no decisions are made in isolation.
You learn and you decide with the help of one of two possible teachers: the Holy Spirit or the ego. There are no others.