Please do not turn your back on salvation when once you become aware of it and what it brings you. You will not find happiness here, you will not. You may continue to seek it where it is not, but you will find only frustration and disappointment. All things of this world will pass away, all accomplishments and honors will become as ashes, leaving only their bitter taste in the end.
The Holy Spirit is the Teacher of teachers; all teachers of God simply represent Him in outward form.
You can have a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit if you make the commitment, and follow it up with honest effort and heartfelt cooperation.